Hamburger + Taco = Jwhich

In all the years of drunken feasting, never would I have thought to stoop so low into my artery clogging, alcohol fueled gorging. I've done some amazing things in the past. I remember drinking vodka martinis all night then ordering ten dollars worth of Taco Bell bean burritos. It looked like a I was shitting out of my mouth while I was puking on the front of my apartment, not on the ground, on the front of my apartment. I might have been trying to kill a bug or something. Then there was Esperanzo's, where you could get a "dough boy" at 0400 on the way home from 1 of 18 bars. A dough boy was a chimchanga filled with cream cheese and chicken, and it was shit-tastic. Hot dogs wrapped in bacon, philly cheese steaks, buffalo wings with the meat pulled off into a bowl and covered with bleu cheese, wow, the list goes on and on. My cholesterol infused journeys should have driven me down the path of veganism by now, surprisingly my blood tests have come back good and viscous, not congealed. Never in my life, would anything have prepared me for Jack in the Box, or JITB for all intents and purposes. The dollar menu is larger than the regular menu, and most of the patrons could have it as an alternate mailing address (read homeless). I've stood in line with old men, young women, old men that looked like women, and young women who were really men. I've walked through the drive-thru, eaten in stomach rupturing proportions, and one time, I just ordered a water..... it was crazy. I'm not really sure how the next evolution in JITB experience happened, but it did and god help us all. Myself and Ree (the other Jeff) were sitting on the newspaper dispensers, dividing up our fat saturated treasure that we purchased..... 4 tacos and 4 hamburgers. Everything happened so quickly, and then we were eating a hamburger with the taco inside of it. We called it the Jwhich.... booyah. Fucking Jwhich. I'm pretty sure a Jwhich with some Gothsblood (boxed wine and vodka) might create a hole in the universe, or in my duodenum.