With the impending arrival of my future son/daughter, I can't help think but about one thing: what the hell am I doing? I don't know how to change a diaper, I can barely keep my drawers clean due to some awesome IBS. My wife is a saint, and I have to repeat, she is a SAINT. She is going to be the mother of my child, hence my previous proclamation, only a saint would do such a thing. I've been "living it up" in Hawaii since the 'mater' left to forge our new home back in the northeast. It is not enough that she actually move there, but it must be forged. Since her arrival in the land of terrible accents, lobster, and pissed off waiters and waitresses, she has moved into our house, rescued our dog from a mauling, and recovered from sprained wrists.... while going through the 28-34 weeks of pregnancy. I, on the otherhand, have surfed almost every day, maybe gone to class, and got a cold. Needless to say, I think she wins the toughness contest.
A few thoughts on being a dad.... the first is that I have no idea what the hell I am doing. Thank God that the wife can breast feed, because at least that gives us a head start. As for myself, I need to learn how to change a diaper worse than the thirsty in the desert need water. I will attempt to practice on my dog, but the poor little furry booger is recovering from his previously described thrashing by a 80 pound dog (he's a 12 pound dachshund).
The baby shower was the worst.... Before wifey left the island of Oahu, her friend attempted to throw a baby shower. This did not go well at all. Do to poor planning, and poor is being generous, there was no planning. We ended up asking my aunt (whose place we were staying at, and it is a very posh residence) to invite 20 people over, this was 1 hour before it happened. It was a disaster, kids were screaming everywhere, we spent like 200 dollars on it, and nobody brought any baby gifts. Actually, I had to eat teddy bear shit, as part of the whole circus. It was a snickers, or so I was told. In the end, we realized that this pregnancy, and birth, was best left up to us because of this drastic failure. Fortunately, we were wrong. Her arrival in New England was met with unbridled support from family and friends. If is wasn't for them, I would have had to leave the last bit of my semester of my M.S. to go back to help. Which brings me to my next gripe... the only reason I stayed out here was to attend a mandatory attendance class (yes, in a graduate progam) in which out of the 8 weeks of my absence, was met with 1 class cancellation and 2 no-show professors. Great, awesome, fantastic. Glad I stayed, thank you for that.
In the meantime, my wife's baby bump has morphed into a mountain. It is incredible to see the miracle of life developing over Skype... do you sense my dripping sarcasm?? As my final days in Hawaii wind down, I am met with random "obligations" to go to parties that I don't care about. Fortunately, I have a few people out here helping me keep perspective (besides my therapist/existential detective), and it has helped. I ate a lot of pizza tonight, only because I didn't eat anything all day. This has not been a random occurrence. I will write later about Hawaii, perhaps when I have more patience, but for now I have to say that these islands mean the world to me, and at the same time, I can't wait to leave.
Friday, April 30, 2010
Thursday, April 29, 2010
a proclamation
In the event of not sounding egotistical or privileged, I have to say I am not a child of the same. I opted to make a life for myself from nothing, to turn down an education from my parents (who really couldn't afford it) and to make my way on my own. I have done that, and quite successfully, according to some people. But now, I have given up a promising (but unsatisfied) career, to pursue other things. My time of returning to undergrad education has been humorous, humbling, and frustrating.... but now I wish to show my journey into the world of medicine. If only to shed light on the process, but to provide a humorous and human aspect into the whole world.
time to think....
So it has been almost 2 years since my last post, and I have to say, it has been a DOOZY! What I have learned and discovered is interesting, to say, and nonetheless shocking.... Mulder and Scully got married but still call each other by the same previously described names??? Wow, shocking, and amazing. Lets see... we had a new election, the end to the Iraq war, and the Double Down by KFC. I didn't think that the J-wich would be upped, but it has, KFC had some spies on the inside and decided to take over the cholesterol-inclined with a new debacle. So in celebration of my return to the blogging world, I ordered some pizza from the re-vamped Dominos, and will plaque my arteries tonight with their amazing goodness.
Anyway, there will be posts to come on my real thoughts on the world, and my pursuit of a career meant to help people and be "in the moment". I don't know how else to be "in the moment" than to connect with people in the realest form of human survival and intrigue.... how to prolong the human life by means of medicinal purposes.
Peace out.
Anyway, there will be posts to come on my real thoughts on the world, and my pursuit of a career meant to help people and be "in the moment". I don't know how else to be "in the moment" than to connect with people in the realest form of human survival and intrigue.... how to prolong the human life by means of medicinal purposes.
Peace out.
Friday, April 25, 2008
Douchebags
Where art thou douchebags? Oh wait, I know.... everywhere that I try to find enjoyment!!! To quote an amazing Asian that I know, everytime I try to take on some personal enjoyment that may involve other people that I don't know, it is ruined by douchebags. For instance.......
Recently I decided that I needed to lose about 15-20 pounds, mainly for narcissistic reasons but also to get me back into shape. The problem is that I have really no motivation to do it alone, so I signed up for a triathlon clinic. Having been a triathlete at one point at my life, accomplishing some finishes that are slightly worth bragging about, however I digress. I am a fat ass now, I surf and drink beer, I need to get back into shape...... triathlon clinic Hoooooooooo.
Day one: I am in pain after biking for an hour and realizing that this is for people who never made it off training wheels. Next is the 'run', which I am dreading. I am in horrible running shape, actually, fat people are in better running shape because they probably sprint into KFC before they close. The 'run' was horrible and my legs hurt along with my knees, ankles, and cornhole. It has been too long, too many Natty Lites, and too many J-whiches (see previous blog for recipe). The workout is done, I am glad, but I have identified a douchebag... just one. He weighs about 280, on a hot day while drinking tabasco laced laxatives. Think of a sausage casing shoved over a pig knuckle. But it's okay though, he has "all the new" tri-gear. The new hat, the new spandex shirt, the new dick hugger shorts, the new sun glasses and the new energy gel jizz juice that apparently makes you run 88 mph and go back to November 5th, 1955. I guess with 5 grand to blow, you'll be a great triathlete in your head. So with all my blisters, my multiple cramps, and near vomiting... I'm done for today.
Day two: Nearly two days later, a dimebag of motrin an hour, and some beer, I feel better and my knees haven't completely shattered. Today is a run then a swim. Swimming is my shit, B-A-N-A-N-A-S. Fuck yeah, swimming. Looking around, there could be the rogue swimmer in my midst, swimming is sneaky like that. In high school, there was this one guy we called Chubbily Bubbily. That fucker swam like Aquaman. Extra floatation or whatever, it was amazing, he just churned the water like it was the butter he was about to smother his bacon with over his french fries. Anyway, we ran for 40 minutes, I wanted to fucking die, but I did remotely better.... the fat guy didn't pass me. I jumped into the pool and was in absolute heaven, I churned out 200 yards in a great split and was ready to go. It was obvious after midway through the workout, that I might have been the only one who was capable of swimming at any competitive level. Not that it is a big deal, there are tons of people who can't swim, but then there is the others who wear fucking shark skin suits that cost hundreds of dollars, and then jump into a pool only to nearly shit themselves when they get to the deep end. I should have pulled them under and given Darwin a head start. God Bless Natural Selection. Ugh, I left and went home disgusted, but glad that I ran.
Day Three: We biked today, for real, not on the weight room bikes like the other day. I dusted my bike off after three years in a cold, wet layup. WD-40, some rags, some Foreigner, and some Keystone Light, and my bike was fixed. On Monday.... the day was mine. I smoked everyone and it felt great. I love biking fast on an open road, it is exhilarating. Unfortunately, we had to run afterwards, but it was a 30 minute jog which I was fine with. Towards the end, the pot of coffee that I drank during the day ended up coming back to haunt me. I pretty much shit myself and cramped up at the same time. It was amazing, my little running group asked me if I was "okay". I just laughed.
Day Four: The real douchebags unveiled themselves. We did a long run and I crossed the street to run against traffic, which is the "rule of the road" for running. Everyone else did not do that, and they were all pissed, but whatever. The pot of coffee that day came back to haunt me and I cramped again, but I felt much better.... a pretty quick two week turnaround which I was proud about. America, fuck yeah! Today was a pool day too, so even better. I jumped into the pool first and swam a half-mile warmup which felt great. Apparently, some douchebag was annoyed that I swam that far for a warmup since it wasn't part of the workout. Also, the fat ass from earlier, tried lecturing everyone how the right sunglasses are important to buy since they will be able to tell how deep potholes are... like the fucking Terminator or something. He spent 300 dollars on his "biking glasses" which are different from his "running glasses". I wonder which glasses he wears when he chows down 8 cheeseburgers every night, fucking "ruby rose petal colored glasses". Anyway, I did the workout, with some minor problems.
The conclusion is that I hate douchebags, they interfere with everything that I enjoy, but the best thing to do is directly engage them and dismantle their reality. I eventually told the tons-of-fun that he should stop giving advice to people since he didn't know what the fuck he was talking about. I told the chick, who had a problem that I swam too fast. to stop being so fucking slow. In general, I think people do this triathlon shit for someone else besides themselves. I just want to feel pain and push myself so that I can drink and eat whatever I want again. I'm getting sick of Tofu and spinach salads. WTF, I'm tired.
Recently I decided that I needed to lose about 15-20 pounds, mainly for narcissistic reasons but also to get me back into shape. The problem is that I have really no motivation to do it alone, so I signed up for a triathlon clinic. Having been a triathlete at one point at my life, accomplishing some finishes that are slightly worth bragging about, however I digress. I am a fat ass now, I surf and drink beer, I need to get back into shape...... triathlon clinic Hoooooooooo.
Day one: I am in pain after biking for an hour and realizing that this is for people who never made it off training wheels. Next is the 'run', which I am dreading. I am in horrible running shape, actually, fat people are in better running shape because they probably sprint into KFC before they close. The 'run' was horrible and my legs hurt along with my knees, ankles, and cornhole. It has been too long, too many Natty Lites, and too many J-whiches (see previous blog for recipe). The workout is done, I am glad, but I have identified a douchebag... just one. He weighs about 280, on a hot day while drinking tabasco laced laxatives. Think of a sausage casing shoved over a pig knuckle. But it's okay though, he has "all the new" tri-gear. The new hat, the new spandex shirt, the new dick hugger shorts, the new sun glasses and the new energy gel jizz juice that apparently makes you run 88 mph and go back to November 5th, 1955. I guess with 5 grand to blow, you'll be a great triathlete in your head. So with all my blisters, my multiple cramps, and near vomiting... I'm done for today.
Day two: Nearly two days later, a dimebag of motrin an hour, and some beer, I feel better and my knees haven't completely shattered. Today is a run then a swim. Swimming is my shit, B-A-N-A-N-A-S. Fuck yeah, swimming. Looking around, there could be the rogue swimmer in my midst, swimming is sneaky like that. In high school, there was this one guy we called Chubbily Bubbily. That fucker swam like Aquaman. Extra floatation or whatever, it was amazing, he just churned the water like it was the butter he was about to smother his bacon with over his french fries. Anyway, we ran for 40 minutes, I wanted to fucking die, but I did remotely better.... the fat guy didn't pass me. I jumped into the pool and was in absolute heaven, I churned out 200 yards in a great split and was ready to go. It was obvious after midway through the workout, that I might have been the only one who was capable of swimming at any competitive level. Not that it is a big deal, there are tons of people who can't swim, but then there is the others who wear fucking shark skin suits that cost hundreds of dollars, and then jump into a pool only to nearly shit themselves when they get to the deep end. I should have pulled them under and given Darwin a head start. God Bless Natural Selection. Ugh, I left and went home disgusted, but glad that I ran.
Day Three: We biked today, for real, not on the weight room bikes like the other day. I dusted my bike off after three years in a cold, wet layup. WD-40, some rags, some Foreigner, and some Keystone Light, and my bike was fixed. On Monday.... the day was mine. I smoked everyone and it felt great. I love biking fast on an open road, it is exhilarating. Unfortunately, we had to run afterwards, but it was a 30 minute jog which I was fine with. Towards the end, the pot of coffee that I drank during the day ended up coming back to haunt me. I pretty much shit myself and cramped up at the same time. It was amazing, my little running group asked me if I was "okay". I just laughed.
Day Four: The real douchebags unveiled themselves. We did a long run and I crossed the street to run against traffic, which is the "rule of the road" for running. Everyone else did not do that, and they were all pissed, but whatever. The pot of coffee that day came back to haunt me and I cramped again, but I felt much better.... a pretty quick two week turnaround which I was proud about. America, fuck yeah! Today was a pool day too, so even better. I jumped into the pool first and swam a half-mile warmup which felt great. Apparently, some douchebag was annoyed that I swam that far for a warmup since it wasn't part of the workout. Also, the fat ass from earlier, tried lecturing everyone how the right sunglasses are important to buy since they will be able to tell how deep potholes are... like the fucking Terminator or something. He spent 300 dollars on his "biking glasses" which are different from his "running glasses". I wonder which glasses he wears when he chows down 8 cheeseburgers every night, fucking "ruby rose petal colored glasses". Anyway, I did the workout, with some minor problems.
The conclusion is that I hate douchebags, they interfere with everything that I enjoy, but the best thing to do is directly engage them and dismantle their reality. I eventually told the tons-of-fun that he should stop giving advice to people since he didn't know what the fuck he was talking about. I told the chick, who had a problem that I swam too fast. to stop being so fucking slow. In general, I think people do this triathlon shit for someone else besides themselves. I just want to feel pain and push myself so that I can drink and eat whatever I want again. I'm getting sick of Tofu and spinach salads. WTF, I'm tired.
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
Get your news on Sci Fi, not CNN
At my job, it is mandated that we have two news channels running 24-7. This is supposed to help us assess worldy situations that may affect the Navy, particularly the submarine force. Only once, in the past year that I have been working here, has anything shown up on the news that affected the submarine force. We knew about the issue way before it even showed up on television, so "thanks news", but we had it covered. In the past couple of months, some issues have arisen that have compromised the flexibility of these "TV rules". First, I just want to say, that I am 27 years old and someone still tells me what I'm allowed to watch on TV. Granted, it is a government television, but regardless it is still ridiculous. A few months ago, our boss came in super-early only to find one of my co-workers watching a movie, so the facade was finally off. During the midnight watch, there isn't much going on, so movies, TV shows, etc. are ways to stay awake and pass the time. I don't think there has ever been an issue with neglecting our jobs in the name of South Park, but when the boss-man says no, it means no, at least to their knowledge. I doubt they go home at night and think of ways to catch us sneaking some Fresh Prince re-run at 0300, but if they happen to come into work that early, they don't expect to see it on either. It is a desperate game, and even more desperate for me since I don't have cable at home and this is my way to watch anything but local channels (they suck in Hawaii).
The idea that CNN, MSNBC, and FOXNEWS actually contain any amount of "news" is absurd. I've watched easily over 1000 hours of this crap over the past year, and literally, two straight months of Anna Nicole baby trial. Nothing else is ever on these scholarly programs except tabloid journalism, ever. Newscasters cannot seperate facts with their own personal feelings, so that is what you get. I'm sure most of those people got the job, not for their intellectual analysis abilities, but because they look good on camera and can read. It comes out in the stupid shit that spews from the boob tube news networks. I've come to the conclusion that all the news channels don't really tell us anything about society. They only thing reported is the dregs of our communities: murders, rapes, robberies, disappearances, war, poverty, celebrities.... all of them equally as horrible as the next. What about the successes? What about the people who succeed and make a difference. What about the little retarded boy who learns that his diapers aren't a source of food and then learns to play the guitar? That is the kind of stuff that I want to hear about, the true triumphs of mankind. Oh yeah, and midgets, I need more of that, they make everyone happy.
So why are we forced to watch this crap? I think we should be forced to leave it on the Sci Fi channel. Sci Fi comes out with original TV shows and movies, which are all equally amazing. I believe that Americans would be better if they watched more Sci Fi channel original movies, with gothsblood. For example, the movie Frankenfish is about a pack of giant, killer, snakehead fish taking over a Louisiana Bayou..... or is it? China Chow and her buddies, represent the multi-culturalism of society. There are the elderly couple who refuse to leave the swamp, and get their ass eaten. There is the crazy redneck who swims around in the water despite the monster fish, and gets his ass eaten. There is the old, black voodoo guy who gets his ass eaten, but not without a few funny quips. The other residents band together to resist the corporation that is trying to move in and farm the snakehead fish for the military, and China Chow gets her ass eaten.... quite literally. So basically, minorities, elderly, and white guys all get their ass eaten, but not without accomplishing the feat of defeating the flesh eating snakehead fish. Equality and Triumph, the success of man against adversity while facing society's stereotypes. This kind of shit would never get put on the news, only Sci Fi.
Sci Fi lets us see the strengths in society, not the weaknesses depicted by CNN. What did I ever do to witness all the men come forth who claimed Anna Nicoles baby? Seriously, is the biggest, most ground breaking news about all the guys that some drugged up porn star had slept with in her life? Has America become so desensitized to these horrible, secular, demoralized celebrities that we actually care about their baby's dady? Well, the semi-retarded news anchors sure seem to think so. They also seem to think that 14 straight hours of Britney's legal troubles is much more important than the state of Iran's nuclear power program. Again, I turn to Sci Fi to tell me what kind of amazing things can happen in the face of adversity, as true American would.
ManShark was the creation of a government agency's attempt at making sharks smarter by infusing human DNA with shark DNA. They were seeing good results, until they used too much human DNA and produced a ManShark. They kept it in its own tank, held closed by a door with a flywheel, the highest that technology had to offer them. Needless to say, ManShark got loose, ate all the dolphins in the facility and a few lab techs, and escaped to the open ocean. This brings us to our local island in the Caribbean, which is where the ManShark has started to call home. Ernie Hudson and the guy from Coach end up banding together to combat ManShark, and end up rapidly depressurizing it in a hyperbaric chamber to kill it. Sci Fi just showed us how blacks and whites can work together and employ their education in sciences to overcome adversity. It showed how education is color blind in America and the key to our children's future is by increasing America's aptitude in the sciences. We just learned a great deal about what it will really take to turn our tide towards better school standards. Thank you ManShark, even though you showed those poor villagers no compassion when you disemboweled them one by one, including Ernie Hudson, you showed America the key to our children's future.
Sci Fi channel and gothsblood forever.
The idea that CNN, MSNBC, and FOXNEWS actually contain any amount of "news" is absurd. I've watched easily over 1000 hours of this crap over the past year, and literally, two straight months of Anna Nicole baby trial. Nothing else is ever on these scholarly programs except tabloid journalism, ever. Newscasters cannot seperate facts with their own personal feelings, so that is what you get. I'm sure most of those people got the job, not for their intellectual analysis abilities, but because they look good on camera and can read. It comes out in the stupid shit that spews from the boob tube news networks. I've come to the conclusion that all the news channels don't really tell us anything about society. They only thing reported is the dregs of our communities: murders, rapes, robberies, disappearances, war, poverty, celebrities.... all of them equally as horrible as the next. What about the successes? What about the people who succeed and make a difference. What about the little retarded boy who learns that his diapers aren't a source of food and then learns to play the guitar? That is the kind of stuff that I want to hear about, the true triumphs of mankind. Oh yeah, and midgets, I need more of that, they make everyone happy.
So why are we forced to watch this crap? I think we should be forced to leave it on the Sci Fi channel. Sci Fi comes out with original TV shows and movies, which are all equally amazing. I believe that Americans would be better if they watched more Sci Fi channel original movies, with gothsblood. For example, the movie Frankenfish is about a pack of giant, killer, snakehead fish taking over a Louisiana Bayou..... or is it? China Chow and her buddies, represent the multi-culturalism of society. There are the elderly couple who refuse to leave the swamp, and get their ass eaten. There is the crazy redneck who swims around in the water despite the monster fish, and gets his ass eaten. There is the old, black voodoo guy who gets his ass eaten, but not without a few funny quips. The other residents band together to resist the corporation that is trying to move in and farm the snakehead fish for the military, and China Chow gets her ass eaten.... quite literally. So basically, minorities, elderly, and white guys all get their ass eaten, but not without accomplishing the feat of defeating the flesh eating snakehead fish. Equality and Triumph, the success of man against adversity while facing society's stereotypes. This kind of shit would never get put on the news, only Sci Fi.
Sci Fi lets us see the strengths in society, not the weaknesses depicted by CNN. What did I ever do to witness all the men come forth who claimed Anna Nicoles baby? Seriously, is the biggest, most ground breaking news about all the guys that some drugged up porn star had slept with in her life? Has America become so desensitized to these horrible, secular, demoralized celebrities that we actually care about their baby's dady? Well, the semi-retarded news anchors sure seem to think so. They also seem to think that 14 straight hours of Britney's legal troubles is much more important than the state of Iran's nuclear power program. Again, I turn to Sci Fi to tell me what kind of amazing things can happen in the face of adversity, as true American would.
ManShark was the creation of a government agency's attempt at making sharks smarter by infusing human DNA with shark DNA. They were seeing good results, until they used too much human DNA and produced a ManShark. They kept it in its own tank, held closed by a door with a flywheel, the highest that technology had to offer them. Needless to say, ManShark got loose, ate all the dolphins in the facility and a few lab techs, and escaped to the open ocean. This brings us to our local island in the Caribbean, which is where the ManShark has started to call home. Ernie Hudson and the guy from Coach end up banding together to combat ManShark, and end up rapidly depressurizing it in a hyperbaric chamber to kill it. Sci Fi just showed us how blacks and whites can work together and employ their education in sciences to overcome adversity. It showed how education is color blind in America and the key to our children's future is by increasing America's aptitude in the sciences. We just learned a great deal about what it will really take to turn our tide towards better school standards. Thank you ManShark, even though you showed those poor villagers no compassion when you disemboweled them one by one, including Ernie Hudson, you showed America the key to our children's future.
Sci Fi channel and gothsblood forever.
Thursday, December 13, 2007
Old people love getting hit by cars
I live in Hawaii, which leads the nation, currently, in traffic related pedestrian fatalities. I'm not lying, even with a fraction of the population of a large, mainland city and speed limits that rarely exceed 30 mph, even on the highway..... peeps are getting wacked. There are a few reasons for this.
1) Hawaii residents are the worst drivers on the planet. God's honest truth, the worst drivers on the planet. I've witnessed feats of stupidity that are hard to explain. On a busy road, I've seen someone slam on their breaks to let a car pull out from a side street. I've seen people stop their cars in the middle of the highway for a fender bender, well within sight of the giant breakdown lane or shoulder. A woman stared at a green light long enough, magically, it fucking turned red. Guess who was the car behind her??? Good guess. I lost my shit and probably broke a blood vessel in my brain or my anus. I could go on and on, but what is the point, this happens multiple times each day and it is almost routine for me to see a driver that I'd rather trust with a hair-trigger Uzi and high on crystal meth, than with an automobile.
2) Crosswalks are everywhere. Is that a good thing? No it isn't, I am completely desensitized to them, mainly because seeing a crosswalk is about as common as seeing a lane marker. They will be at random spots along each road, not associated with a signal, traffic light, stop sign, or anything. People use them too, and they think they are magical realms that defy the laws of physics. Apparently, most pedestrians think that when they enter a crosswalk it enables a car moving at 30 mph to stop in 10 feet. Oh yeah, it works better if you walk onto this crosswalk from between two parked cars, at twilight or dusk, wearing black and listening to an iPod.
3) Lots of old people. I respect old people, don't get me wrong. I'll be old someday, my grandparents are old, old people are fine. If you are in Hawaii and are old, you probably like getting hit by cars. Forget crosswalks, forget traffic lights and cars, I guess at a certain age, Hawaiians aren't aware of any of those. There is actually a commercial asking drivers to be aware of pedestrians. It shows some poor old woman trying to cross a busy street/highway, not at a crosswalk. If I'm driving down the highway, the last thing that I will be looking for is someone about to dart across traffic because it is the quickest way to the drugstore. It would be like going for a walk and always worrying about a piano falling on your head.
I've been driving on pitch black roads on the mainland and have seen deer wait until you are close and dart out in front, barely becoming a hood ornament. I imagine the same thing is happening here. Alot of old Hawaiians are waiting in the bushes all over the place, and just run out in traffic at random times. I don't know what is worse, the fact that people are getting hit by cars, or the fact that the cars don't swerve. Maybe it cancels out, but if my insurance goes up because USAA knows about these wild old people trying to run out into traffic, I'll be pretty pissed.
1) Hawaii residents are the worst drivers on the planet. God's honest truth, the worst drivers on the planet. I've witnessed feats of stupidity that are hard to explain. On a busy road, I've seen someone slam on their breaks to let a car pull out from a side street. I've seen people stop their cars in the middle of the highway for a fender bender, well within sight of the giant breakdown lane or shoulder. A woman stared at a green light long enough, magically, it fucking turned red. Guess who was the car behind her??? Good guess. I lost my shit and probably broke a blood vessel in my brain or my anus. I could go on and on, but what is the point, this happens multiple times each day and it is almost routine for me to see a driver that I'd rather trust with a hair-trigger Uzi and high on crystal meth, than with an automobile.
2) Crosswalks are everywhere. Is that a good thing? No it isn't, I am completely desensitized to them, mainly because seeing a crosswalk is about as common as seeing a lane marker. They will be at random spots along each road, not associated with a signal, traffic light, stop sign, or anything. People use them too, and they think they are magical realms that defy the laws of physics. Apparently, most pedestrians think that when they enter a crosswalk it enables a car moving at 30 mph to stop in 10 feet. Oh yeah, it works better if you walk onto this crosswalk from between two parked cars, at twilight or dusk, wearing black and listening to an iPod.
3) Lots of old people. I respect old people, don't get me wrong. I'll be old someday, my grandparents are old, old people are fine. If you are in Hawaii and are old, you probably like getting hit by cars. Forget crosswalks, forget traffic lights and cars, I guess at a certain age, Hawaiians aren't aware of any of those. There is actually a commercial asking drivers to be aware of pedestrians. It shows some poor old woman trying to cross a busy street/highway, not at a crosswalk. If I'm driving down the highway, the last thing that I will be looking for is someone about to dart across traffic because it is the quickest way to the drugstore. It would be like going for a walk and always worrying about a piano falling on your head.
I've been driving on pitch black roads on the mainland and have seen deer wait until you are close and dart out in front, barely becoming a hood ornament. I imagine the same thing is happening here. Alot of old Hawaiians are waiting in the bushes all over the place, and just run out in traffic at random times. I don't know what is worse, the fact that people are getting hit by cars, or the fact that the cars don't swerve. Maybe it cancels out, but if my insurance goes up because USAA knows about these wild old people trying to run out into traffic, I'll be pretty pissed.
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